Contacting The Summoner

[likeabos]

sO, uH, 1'M JUST SUPPOSED TO TALK HERE R1GHT?
sAY SOMETH1NG TO 1MPLY THAT YOU CAN LEAVE A MESSAGE HERE AND 1 W1LL GET BACK TO YOU?
r1GHT THEN!
yO!
tHE GREAT AND M1GHTY SUMMONER HERE, h1STOR1CAL W1NGED CAVALREAPER OF AWESOMENESS!
lEAVE A MESSAGE AND 1 W1LL GET BACK TO YA,,,
oR YOU KNOW, cONT1NU1NG CALL1NG ME 1N SOME SORT OF ANNOY1NG WAY,,,
1'M SURE 1 W1ll P1CK UP EVENTUALLY,,,
nO, rEALLY,,,
jUST PUT SOMETH1NG HERE AND 1'LL GET BACK TO YA,,,
1 PROMISE,,,

Comments

2/24; morning; text

[cynicisms]

Hello...

Did you manage to find her once the chip glitches stopped?

Re: 2/24; morning; text

[likeabos]

hUH?
oH, uM, hEH, hEY THERE, cHICO,,,
eRM, n-nO, aCTUALLY, sEEMS SHE 1S ST1RR1NG UP TROUBLE AGA1N, bACK, wHERE SHE 1T 1S SUPPOSED TO BE ST1RR1NG TROUBLE,,,
yEAH,,,

[cynicisms]

Oh...

I'm sorry.

Are you alright?

[likeabos]

eHEH, yEAH, 1'M OKAY, 1 GUESS,,,
1 MEAN AS OKAY AS 1 CAN BE CONS1DER1NG,,,
yOU KNOW, tHATS SHE'S GONE,,,
bACK TO DEATH,,,
wHERE SHE CAME FROM,,,

[Nope! He's not doing this!]

1 MEAN, nOT THAT 1T MATTERS R1GHT?
eVERYONE D1ES EVENTUALLY, aND THE PO1NT OF T1ME 1'M FROM SHE'S ST1LL VERY MUCH AL1VE,,,

[cynicisms]

[It's frightening, almost, how his chest twinges in pity...no, sympathy...for this person. That feeling of losing someone is too familiar, it aches in his own chest. It takes a moment to answer.]

It does matter. And though I've no words to make it hurt less for you, I'm sorry.

Do you need anything?

[likeabos]

mAN, 1 DON'T Th1NK A S1NGLE TH1NG 1N TH1S FUCK1NG US1VERSE W1LL EASE WHAT 1T 1S 1'M FEEL1NG R1GHT NOW,,,
1F ANYTH1NG, 1 GUESS, 1 JUST K1ND OF HAVE TO ACCEPT 1T,,,
mY MATESPR1TE 1S GONE, aFTER F1NALLY HAV1NG A MOMENT TO SPEND W1TH HER,,,
1F GUESS, 1 JUST FEEL L1KE K1ND OF A SAP FOR 1N1T1ALLY TH1NK1NG ANY GOOD COULD HAVE COME OF TH1S,,,

[cynicisms]

Hope...it's a form of torture, I believe. Taunting us with that which we wish for most and then dashing those desires. And yet...even I give in, even after thousands of years, after convincing myself so thoroughly that it's pointless self-injury to even attempt hope. I suppose that, at least, that means you aren't alone in that way.

[It hurts to talk about it and it hurts to say since even speaking it means a certain level of trust in Summoner on his part.]

If you need someone to speak to about it, I have the time and capacity to listen.

[likeabos]

hEH, yOU'RE SHOW1NG YOUR AGE A L1TTLE THERE CH1CO,,,
bUT REALLY?
1T'S A LONG SAPPY STORY THAT EVEN 1 DON'T FULLY UNDERSTAND,,,
bES1DES, 1 GUESS 1'M JUST NOT THE TYPE OF GUY WHO L1KES TO GET HUNG UP ON SAD STUFF L1KE THAT,,,
mORE FOR THE FACT THAT Th1NK1NG ABOUT 1T W1LL ONLY JUST GET US BOTH 1NTO A DEPPRESS1VE RUT, dON'T YOU TH1NK?

[cynicisms]

Am I really?

[There's a bit of a hesitation here, because he isn't sure what to think, or how to respond. A 'depressive rut' is exactly where he's used to being and he isn't sure how to escape something like that.]

I'd listen if you wished. But I'm not certain how to avoid a depressive rut. What do you mean?

[likeabos]

yES, yOU ARE REALLY,,,

bUT, 1F YOU ARE THAT EAGER TO HEAR, 1 GUESS, 1 AM NOT REALLY THE TYPE TO HOLD SECRETS AGA1NST FR1ENDS E1THER,,,
jUST, sHE AND 1, wE HAD SOMETH1NG, yOU KNOW?
sOMETH1NG POWERFUL, aND AMAZ1NG, aND W1LD,,,
uSUALLY, pEOPLE L1KE HER DON'T END UP W1TH PEOPLE L1KE ME,,,
bUT SHE REALLY SEEMED TO EMBRACE WHAT WE HAD,,,
bUT WHEN SHE WAS HERE?
1 DON'T KNOW MAN,,,
sOMETH1NG WAS JUST K1ND OF OFF,,,

d1FFERENT,,,

[cynicisms]

I'm uncertain if that's a good thing or a bad thing, with the way you write it.

It isn't a matter so much of wishing to take your secrets from you, simply letting you know that if you require it, I am here.
It's a strange enough thing to say considering I very rarely extend such an invitation.

Perhaps she had different memories from you? I've heard of such a thing happening.

3/8; text

[order_disorder]

HEY. YOU. TROLL.

YOU'RE REQUIRED FOR SOMETHING. IT'S VERY IMPORTANT. SO HURRY UP AND ANSWER ME YOU WINGED ASSHOLE.

Re: 3/8; text

[likeabos]

oH, wOAH,,,
hELLO L1ME GREEN,,,

n1CE TO HEAD-TYPE TO YOU TOO L1TTLE GREEN DUDE,,,

wHAT'S UP?

[order_disorder]

WHOA. DON'T GET THE WRONG IDEA. THIS AIN'T MY HEMOTYPING. IT'S MY "SISTER'S." I KILLED HER WHEN WE WERE YOUNGER AND LOOTED THE COLOR OFF A PICTURE OF HER CORPSE. I ALSO TOOK HER UPPERCASE U.
ANYWAY. I'M VERY BUSY. AND ALSO VERY HUNGRY.
YOU WILL FETCH ME SOMETHING TO EAT. AND BRING IT TO MY HIVE.

[likeabos]

uM,,,

aLL R1GHT THEN,,,

wHAT EXACTLY ARE YOU DO1NG THAT'S SO T1ME CONSUM1NG THAT YOU NEED TO 1NTERUPT SOMEONE ELSE'S BUSY SCHEDULE TO GET YOU SOMETH1NG TO EAT?

[order_disorder]

[A significant pause.]

I'M WATCHING TV. MY STORIES ARE ON. OBVIOUSLY I CAN'T INTERRUPT THOSE?
HOW WILL I KNOW IF JACKASS ONE FINALLY SNAPS AND STRANGLES BITCH TWO.

[likeabos]

,,,wA1T,,,

,,,aRE YOU FOR REAL?
yOU'RE SER1OUSLY TRY1NG TO TELL ME THAT YOU WANT ME WALK ACROSS THE ENT1RE C1TY, aND MAKE YOU NUTR1T1ONAL SUST1NANCE, jUST SO YOU DON'T M1SS OUT ON YOUR TELENOVELLAS?

[order_disorder]

YES.
YOUR PRIZE FOR RESTATING WHAT I JUST SAID. IS TO DO EXACTLY THAT.

ALSO? GAMZEE WOULD DO IT WITHOUT HESITATION.
IN FACT. HE WOULD ALREADY BE ON HIS WAY.

[likeabos]

eW,,,
cOMPAR1NG ME TO HIM JUST MAKES ME WANT TO DO 1T EVEN LESS,,,

[Blugh. Creepy purples.]

tELL ME, l1TTLE GREEN DUDE, wHAT REASON DO 1 HAVE TO COOK YOU SOME AWARD W1NN1NG GRUB?
wHAT DO 1 GET OUT OF 1T?

[order_disorder]

[An unheard and ever-suffering sigh echoes across Caliborn's apartment.]

WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT COOKING? BRING ME SOMETHING RAW. LIKE. A STEAK. OR BACON. OR TWO STEAKS WRAPPED IN BACON. WITH HAMBURGER MEAT BETWEEN THEM.

BUT SERIOUSLY. I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO GO OUTSIDE. THERE IS A SERIOUS RISK THAT I MAY PROJECTILE VOMIT ALL OVER THE FIRST HALF-NAKED PERSON WHO TRIPS AND SULTRY SPRAWLS INTO MY PATH.
LIKE. WHAT IF THEY GET OFF ON THAT? THEN IT'S A PERFECTLY GOOD WASTE OF BILE.

THE POINT IS. MEAT. I WANT SOME.

[likeabos]

tHAT ACTUALLY SOUNDS K1ND OF GOOD,,,
oF COURSE 1'D PROBABLY COOK 1T, bUT 1 GUESS TO EACH THE1R OWN?

bUT, aHAHAH, REALLY?
yOU'RE AFRA1D OF GO1NG OUTS1DE?
nOT THAT 1 CAN BLAME YOU,,,
w1TH HOW EASY 1T 1S TO CASUALLY JUST WALK 1N ON ALL THE MOST SORD1D OF S1TUAT1ONS, 1 GUESS A GUY AS SENS1T1VE ON THE SUBJECT AS YOU WOULD HAVE A HARD T1ME,,,

hOW'S YOUR PAN BEEN DO1NG BY THE WAY?
aNY WE1RD CREEPY CH1P URGES YET?

[order_disorder]

HOLY FUCK. I'M NOT AFRAID. AND I'M NOT SENSITIVE. WHAT DO I LOOK LIKE. A WISPY LASS WITH THE VAPORS?

YOU WILL NOT SPREAD YOUR CHOCOLATE LIES BEYOND OUR MUTUAL BRAINPANSPACE. WHICH IS FINE, BY THE WAY. DESPITE THE RELENTLESS PARADE OF NASTY THOUGHTS. THAT ARE DEFINITELY NOT MY OWN.

EVEN SO. I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW. I HAVE BEEN A CONNOISSEUR OF PORNOGRAPHY FOR YEARS.
FOR ALL YOU KNOW. I'M LOOKING AT PORNOGRAPHY RIGHT NOW.

[likeabos]

rEALLY, 1 WOULN'T BE ABLE TO TELL YOU 1F 1T'S GOOD OR BAD MYSELF,,,
1T'S JUST K1ND OF A TH1NG THAT 1S?

bUT SER1OUSLY?
d1FFERENT MEMOR1ES?
1 MEAN, 1 KNOW ALTERNATE UN1VERSES SEEMS TO BE A TH1NG THAT 1S POSS1BLE HERE,,,
bUT SHE SEEMED SO MUCH L1KE THE M1NDFANG 1 KNEW,,,
,,,jUST MORE D1STANT,,,

dOES THE POSS1B1L1TY REALLY EX1ST THAT SHE M1GHT NOT EVEN BEEN MY M1NDFANG?

[Oh. What a thought to have...]

[likeabos]

yOU ARE THE WH1SP1EST OF LASSES, 1T 1S MOST DEFF1N1TELY YOU,,,

aND THOSE THOUGHTS ARE TOTALLY YOURS BY THE WAY,,,
tHEY ARE JUST YOURS W1TH A LOT OF PERSUAS1ON,,,
bUT ALL THE HORR1BLE D1RTY TH1NGS YOU ARE PROBABLY TH1NK1NG R1GHT NOW ARE TH1NGS YOU PERSONALLY WANT TO DO,,,

aNYWAY, 1THOUGHT YOU WERE WATCH1NG TELENOVELAS,,,
aRE YOU SAY1NG THEY ARE SEXY TELENOVELAS?
wHY D1D 1 NOT KNOW THOSE WERE A TH1NG THAT WE HAD 1N TH1S C1TY SOONER?

[order_disorder]

MAYBE I'M LYING.
BUT. THE QUESTION IS. WHICH THING AM I LYING ABOUT????
OOHHH. WHAT NOW, TOUGH GUY.
YOU WILL NEVER KNOW THE MYSTERY.
AND I WILL NEVER TELL YOU WHAT CHANNEL.

[Caliborn doesn't like to hear that the chip is actually his thinking. He thinks he knows his brain pretty well, and this is nothing that has ever happened to him before, not even in the worst parts of puberty.]

[So he decides to just not acknowledge it, because that's way easier than arguing.]

ALSO. CALL ME A LASS AGAIN? AND YOU'RE DEAD.
IS THAT CLEAR.